after narrowly avoiding a full-contact fuck-all mental breakdown last week, i've managed to slowly plug away at the script, and it's getting oh-so-very close to being finished and ready to be shown to the world. and by "the world" i mean the few folks from Late Night Theater whose input i value. sorry, internet at large.
so, i started writing this script because i'm depressed. more specifically, i have depression. strange, i know. SOME GUY ON THE INTERNET HAS DEPRESSION, AND IS LONELY. HOLY SHIT THAT'S NEW. anyway. i've absorbed countless movies and books and songs about being lonely and depressed, and not one of them have i come away and didn't think to myself, "that is bullshit." there's been a few things i've seen that've come close to being authentic - Paul Thomas Anderson's "Magnolia" is a good one, but that's just one small part of that movie, and that deals with just about every human emotion that yet exists. but i've never seen anything that has felt truly real and personal. everything i've seen has been from the perspective of people that were lonely, that were depressed, but are looking back on it in hindsight, with rose tinted glasses that tell the viewer, hey, it's okay, we've all been there.
and i say, bullshit. we've all been there, sure. we all go there from time to time. but what is it like for those people who deal with it constantly, where every waking moment you live in fear that your brain's infernal machinations are going to subvert every second of your life into misery? that's pretty much what i'm trying to come through with here, in You Are Not Special! to show these rather pathetic characters in a sterile light to expose how, honestly, amusing and funny the whole thing is. being depressed is pretty hilarious, really - the things that run through your mind as it tries to destroy every dollop of joy over the most benign, random events.
so, the script is nearing completion. soon it'll be typed up and ready to go. then, i need to wrangle my buddies from Late Night Theater and elsewhere to give notes and suggestions so i can do another quick pass on the script. then, it's onward to auditions and casting and full speed ahead. it's nerve-wracking, i'm incredibly excited, and, because i'm depressed, incredibly worried that the entire thing will be a mess that no-one will want to see and will ruin my reputation forever, barring me from having sex or car loans or a job answering phones for an online retailer.
i'll be back with more info soon!
--brian
